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Kveller: My 8-Year-Old Son Went on a School Trip for 5 Days

“We’re going on a class trip to France,” my 8-year-old Cai announced a week after he’d started his new school. “Cool!” I said. In August, we moved our family from Jerusalem to Luxembourg where my husband Matt took a job with the EU. Going to France from Luxembourg is as easy as going to Queens […]

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The Establishment: Amazing Opportunities for Freelance Writers!

Hey freelancers! Here’s this week’s list of writing markets. Plenty of stuff here, so happy pitching! MULIEBRAL – Spill your guts, bare your soul, and tell the world your most humiliating secrets on our whimsical and light-hearted website. Contributors are contracted to provide photos, podcasts, and at least three infographics to accompany their work, and […]

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The Forward: Baby Hitler and Other Moral Questions for GOP Candidates

What if Baby Hitler were wearing a hat with bear ears? I’m curious to know what Jeb Bush might do if Baby Hitler were actually wearing one of those fuzzy bear hats. Or if Baby Hitler had just tasted a lemon and were making a funny face. What would Jeb Bush do then? Would he […]

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The Forward Sisterhood: Yom Kippur Confession for Guilt Ridden Mothers

Beat your chest once for each infraction I Am guilty I screwed up Bigtime I Co-slept I Drank too much wine I let you Eat candy I put you in Front of the laundry as a form of entertainment I Gave you Gum I was a Hypocrite I let you cry It out I Joked […]

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McSweeney’s: Random Thoughts of Foodie Cookie Monster

Me want to eat cookie, but me take photo of cookie first. *** Me get angry when peanut butter cookies not use sustainable Valencia grade peanuts. *** Me travelled to Malmö last winter for ultimate shortbread cookie experience. *** Sometimes me think that cookies too important in my life. Then me think, “Mmm… Cookie.” *** […]

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The Reject Pile: Guys Watching Princess Movies and Feeling Bad

GORDON: Sometimes I feel horny and my wife is holding the baby and I go over to kiss her and it’s cool but then I try to French kiss her and she pulls back and looks at me like she hates me. And it’s just like this scene in Aladdin where the Sultan, Jafar and […]