Devorah Blachor
June 20, 2039 I did call up Mrs. Needleman, just as we discussed. I said, “Would you like to go on a date?” No ambiguity, no vague plans she could misinterpret. So I don’t think you could make the claim that I’m avoiding intimacy this time. I admit I forgot what you advised about going […]
What does this status alert mean for you? Your system is no longer protected and is vulnerable to malware, spam, viruses, hackers, insults both overt and subtle, and the Black Plague. Your operating system now feels like a four-year-old boy who gets separated from his mother at the supermarket and is found inconsolable in the […]
I’m vacuuming. I haven’t smiled since the chive blinis with creme fraiche*. I haven’t refilled your wineglass for the last hour and when you ask me for some water I say, “No.” I’ve shared with you the main tenets of Chinese Ancient Wisdom for Healthy Sleep, which prescribes one to be asleep by 10 o’clock […]
February 13, 2014 “The reality is, we just didn’t sell enough Barbie Dolls.” — Bryan G. Stockton, chief executive of Mattel, shortly before the Barbie brand joined forces with Sports Illustrated’s anniversary swimsuit issue. Mattel paid for the “opportunity” to appear in the issue according to The New York Times and has used #unapologetic to […]
INTERNAL PUBLISHING MEMO In light of the success of French Women Don’t Get Fat: The Secret of Eating for Pleasure and its follow-up French Women Don’t Get Facelifts: The Secret of Aging with Style and Attitude, the series will be expanded in 2015 with the following titles: Older Danish Women Don’t Mind Looking Leathery: The Secret to Having 5 […]
In Jane Austen’s day, the universally acknowledged truth was that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. Today, the truth goes something like this: A single man in possession of rock star status will date and marry a supermodel, an actress or a woman who looks […]